In this series “21 Ways To Say I Love You” I will share some common but effective methods to show love in your relationship.

The purpose of this list is to stimulate more loving interactions in your marriage and dating life. Deep interaction doesn’t always require profound and extra-ordinary effort. You can build bridges and great depth of love with simple and daily actions.

 I will begin at the end and work to the top of the list.

21. Take a walk together

Number 21 on the list of “21 Ways To Say I Love You” could easily have been number one on this list. In the spring and early summer mornings a walk has multiple benefits. There are the physical benefits of walking such as relieving stress.  There are also the emotional and relational bonds that are created or strengthen during this time together.

One major key to make sure you enjoy this time is not to talk about the problems and challenges in your relationship. Instead use this time to speak of the joys of life together.

20. Take a trip together just because

Take an impromptu trip to a location that is near or far. This will allow you to work together to quickly put the basic plan together and make up the rest as you go. This lack of planning will in some cases require the two of you to pull your heads together and make some creative adjusts with each other instead of against each other.

If your partner is a heavy planner type, this may run them up the wall. Ask them to trust the lack of process and just enjoy the moment. If this doesn’t work give them a portion of the trip to plan to the infinite detail they are accustom to.

19. Do the dishes together

I am aware that some families/couples don’t cook at home much. My wife and I are one of the couples who seldom cook at home. However, if you cook or eat take-out, there are things at home that will get dirty so just clean them together.

You will send one of two signals to the person who has traditionally been doing the cleanup is:

1. Is there something wrong or what are you up to?
2. Are you really starting to care about me?

Hopefully they will think you are starting to care for them and the status of the  relationship.  

If you want to be a part of our FREE  "Awesome Marriage Workshop" that will be held on 11/4/17 at 3:00 pm, you can email me at dave@coaching4couples.com . 

2 Chronicles 32: 6 - 8

 6 He appointed military officers over the people and assembled them before him in the square at the city gate and encouraged them with these words: 7 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. 8 With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles.” And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the king of Judah said.

 Just about anyone can lead when things are going well. The true test of leadership is how you lead during a crisis.

 I see three significant things that Hezekiah did that allowed his team to succeed in the face of great adversity.

 1. He set up an  ACCOUNTABILITY systems. In verse 6 he sets up a system that will allow people to have someone to speak to about their concerns. During a crisis situation, you need to allow people to share their mind, but not to the extent that they pollute the minds of others. These officers were probably well trained in the art of keeping peace, but they also understood the bigger picture - you serve the Kingdom and not complainers.

 2. He gave an ACCURATE ASSESSMENT of the situation to the people. In verses 7 and 8 he does not try to sugar coat what was going on. He told them:

• This is what it looks like: A vast army has surrounded us.
• This is what we have. We have a power greater than the challenge we are facing.
• This is what we will do. We will be strong and not get discouraged because we have the power needed within us to win.

If your company, church or team is facing a crisis, share with them:

• The leaders has to express , “This is what our challenge looks like”. (If you know how the problem started explain that as well.)
• This is what we have going for us that will allow us to come out of this. If you have successfully dealt with this type of problem before and succeeded, then share that.
• The leader, along with others, must lay out a plan to overcome the challenge. That plan may be to add more focus in a particular area, or work with vendors for temporary price reductions. It may require that you make that change that you have been reluctant to implement.

 3. He ENCOURAGED the people. The latter part of verse 8 says.” And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the king of Judah said.” Leaders who address the challenges quickly, truthfully and decisively will inspire courage and action in the people they serve. If you wait to get everything in place so that you can take "perfect action",  the opportunity to galvanize and mobilize your team may pass you by.

Dave Jenkins, Jr. connects leaders in Plano and beyond to proven Biblical principals of leadership that work in the home, church, business community and schools. Our relationship segment helps husbands and wives to take their marriages to the next level of love and support. To schedule Dave to speak for your group or consult with you, email him at info@davejenkinsjr.com.  

This is the fourth  installment of a five part series on living in your purpose. The central focus is to stay on track with your purpose even in the face of pain and difficultes. We are looking at Five Leadership Lessons learned learned from Willis Reed on how to stay focued on your purpose and not the pain in your life. Mr. Reed was injured during the 1970 NBA Championship Series, but decided to play in the final and pivotal game 7.

Leadership Principle 4.  He knew the importance of showing the opposing team there was no fear in him. 

 Because of his leg injury, no one knew for sure if Reed would play in game seven. While his team was on the court warming up for game seven, Reed remained in the locker room receiving treatments. Just moments before the game started, Reed left the locker room and headed to the basketball court. When his teammates and the Knicks fans saw his unexpected entrance, everyone went wild with excitement; that is everyone with the exception of the opposing team, the Lakers. When Reed came on the court, the entire Laker team stopped what they were doing and watched in unbelief as Reed went to the table to check-in for the game.

 The Lakers may have thought that Reed would not show up for this game given the pain he was in. But they were wrong. In order to lead effectively, or to give guidance to your family, you have to prove to your fears and concerns that they are wrong about you. They are wrong in thinking that you will not get up or show up for that next opportunity. The Lakers, with their super star laden team may have thought for sure, given their talent level and the pain that Reed was in, he would not show up.

 The one thing you have to do when facing the giant of pain or the giant of fear is to push back by showing up. When you show up when others have counted you out, you cause them to question their resolve and effectiveness. Don’t allow the bullies of your life to bully you – bully them back by showing up with a smile and a determination to win.

 2 Timothy 1:7 " For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

 When the other team sees that you have no fear, it will put fear in their hearts.

 Are you interested in "OVERCOMING YOUR IT?" By that I mean are you ready to move past the stage or phase that you are stuck in? Then email me at info@davejenkinsjr.com for an oppurtunity to be a part of a free learning session. More details to come. 

This is the third installment of a five part series on living in your purpose. The central focus is to stay on track with your purpose even in the face of pain and difficultes. We are looking at Five Leadership Lessons learned learned from Willis Reed on how to not allow your pain to distract you from your purpose. Mr. Reed was injured during the 1970 NBA Championship Series, but decided to play in the final and pivotal game 7.

Reed had to miss game 6 of the championship series because of his leg injury. His team lost game 6 without him. It would have been easy for him to give up hope and say we lost game 6 and I am not sure if I can play in game 7. Instead he kept searching for a way to play; he did not give up hope.

Leadership Principle 3. He did not give up hope. 

Have you ever been at the point in yoiur life where it just didn’t make sense to keep going? You may have been trying to lose those last five pounds and they just don’t want to go away.  Sometimes you can hear the pounds singing from your waistline, “I shall not be moved”. Your situation may be that you have taken a certification test more than once and not passed it. In the back of your mind you may be hearing a voice say “Just give up!”.

Just like you, Mr. Reed saw the pain and the diffucutlies. However, he realized that it was more than a game; it was his life’s work, it was his passion. He had done so much to get to this point and his passion and his purpose would not allow his hope to die.

When your passion and your purpose are lined up, sitting on the bench in pain will run you up a wall!!! Other people may be able to sit there and watch the game go past them. You would rather be on the court with one good leg instead of watching life pass you by. You may only have half of what you need at this time to move forward, but you will not allow the pain to relegate you to the bench. You may not have the support of your spouse, friends or family, but you will not allow the pain to cause you to give up hope and stay on the bench.    

You don’t give up on your life’s work or your relationships because of a setback. You look at setbacks as a reason for a comeback.   

 If you need some hope for your comeback, think on this: Isaiah 40:31, Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; They will run and not grow weary, They will walk and not be faint.

Leadership Principle 1. He thought more of the team did he did of himself. 

 When pain hits us it does not impact us only, but it also impacts those around us. We may have been the direct target of the pain that has been inflected on us, but our family and co-workers, church members are targeted as “collateral damage”.